Fonts

I love fonts. They bring me all sorts of happiness. I've found some great free fonts sites on the Internet and I can't stop downloading them onto my computer. I'm a teacher, so when I create worksheets, I always use an appropriately funky font to try and make it more exciting (if correct use of subject/verb agreement can ever be exciting: pick the English teacher). Even the other people in my office love my fonts. I love fonts. I only wish I could use my funky fonts on my blog posts. Then my life would be complete.

No hot water for you!

I really shouldn't have got out of bed today. When I'm lying in bed at six thirty in the morning, I'm cosy. I'm warm. I'm all snuggly and drowsy. I've hit the snooze button for the sixth time.

The only thing that can entice me to get out of bed is a shower. Preferably a long hot shower.

So I get up this morning, wrap my dressing gown around my shoulders (Lord-of-the-rings-cloak-style: you've got to have some dignity in the morning) and head off to the shower, only to discover...

We have no hot water. Quelle nightmare!

So I have a cold shower. I douse myself with cold water for as long as I can stand it - which is about 1 minute. I can't wash my hair because I don't think I have the internal fortitude to stand under cold water for that long. So, the only solution for unwashed hair is to put it up. I have short hair, so putting it up is a delicate business. I probably spend about 10 minutes on my hair - a record for me. I head off to work, feeling kind of grubby and cursing my gas hot water service. I get to school, my paranoia sets in and I'm sure people will think I smell or something. But no! I'm greeted with...

"Hey! Your hair looks great today!"

Go figure.

The not so humble stapler...

Now I will be the first to admit that stationary whips me into a bit of a frenzy. A good stapler, in particular, is a favourite of mine. The hand-held stapler I own comes with a 12 month warranty; a clear indication that I value a good quality product.

Now, an Automatic Stapler. (Note reverent use of capitalisation)

I suppose an Automatic Stapler is like the Ferrari of staplers. We have one in the photocopy room where I work. Today I thought I'd give it a burl - I had a fair bit of stapling to do. Now normally I would say that Automatic Staplers have the crunch of the photocopier stapler, and the pleasure of the hand-held stapler without the arm strain. But no...

Do you know how difficult it is to get the staples in the right place on an Automatic Stapler? I do. It's exceedingly difficult.

That is all.

And she looked at the blog and smiled, for she saw it was good...

I realise that I have now entered the realm of the geek, but no matter: I HAVE A BLOG! And this is my first post. Kudos must go to my bro for introducing me to the blog craziness. Does this mean I'm officially a nerd? Do I love my computer too much? Do I have to wear socks with my sandals??!!

In truth, this blog will be dedicated to what has become my obsession. (Actually, my previous obsession - my new obsession being, of course, my blog) That is, the pursuit of the perfect top five. The perfect list (in order of virility and aesthetics) of male specimens.

Here is the list as it stands:

1. Hugh Jackman (Poncy? NEVER!!! A talented triple threat who manages to look fabulous in white pants singing 'Copacobana')

2. Johnny Depp (A classic. Timeless, talented, versatile - you can dress him up or down.)

3. Karl Urban (Not to be confused with Keith. Kiwi actor, rugged, does the 'Russian-bad-ass' thing very well.)

4. Matthew McFadyen (I thought no-one could beat Colin Firth, but Matthew can Mr my Darcy any day)

5. Crown Prince Frederick (The original cutey. Treats his newborn son like a fish: "I got one this big!")

At this point I must point out that this will probably change. Hugh and Johnny have been hot favourites for a long time now; other contenders have included Jude Law (briefly, and on looks alone), David Wenham and Ewan MacGregor.

In the immortal words of Homer...

"Mmmmm...male celebrity goodness..."